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Messages - Ecclesian

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Astral projection and OBE's / Re: Demons
« on: October 11, 2012, 09:25:21 AM »
   You have made me cry. I am so happy that you have said these things to me. You are the first and only person who has been able to connect with me. When I hear and or read the words of others, I can sense a huge dark void that separates me from them and so nothing they say can ever reach me but you have reached me. You have confirmed the truth in my heart and I am greatful. I am greatful not only for your words but also the spirit that inspired you to say them to me. You are the first and only human who has made this kind of connection with me. Though others have made connections with me, none have ever understood what I go through. People either look at me crazy or intentionally hide their knowledge from me but you have given not only your thoughts but also your time and again I thank you.

   Even this very day I have been considering taking my own life because of the pain and loneliness and also due to the shame of my failures throughout my whole life. You have helped me to see clearly the path that was fading. Please don't feel burdened to respond to this as you have already taken your personal time to converse with me already. I am half your age and yet I feel a brotherly connection with you.

   You have also given me a new mystery to discover. I can feel my Heavenly Father but have not considered the notion of a "heavenly mother". I have read that the one called Jesus Christ is a representative of our "heavenly mother". However, I have always looked at Christ as a big brother, saviour, and king as I was raised christian. This always felt strange to me though as if I was lying to myself when I would affirm this. I have some pretty bad mom and dad issues. especially with my mom as she has caused me great pain my whole life and has never been their for me when I have needed her most. Her neglect and betrayal caused me to develope much self-hatred and I have failed to take care of myself and have also pushed my body to extreme limits to punish myself. I have never learned how to love myself. Just resently I have started saying things like this to myself: "Nicholas, I forgive you.", "Nicholas, I release you of all your stress and pain.", "Nicholas, be filled with love and mercy.". I will say these things out loud so as to trick my sub-conscious into recieving it as extrernal. It is helping alot. Many people have said horrible things to me, I have not heard many good things said to me, least of all from my own mother and father.

   Again I am so thankful for having encountered you. I know that this was meant to happen. You are a blessing to the world and a gift to all humanity. Peace, mercy, truth, love, and joy be with you at all times and may you never go hungry and always have good rest. Thankyou

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Astral projection and OBE's / Re: Demons
« on: October 07, 2012, 09:13:45 PM »
Oh I see. Alot of my own practices are very similair to shamanism and thus I spend alot of time meditating, stretching, and working out outside.

Over the past several nights and not limited to them, I have been experiencing an increased amount of negative activety in my dreams. A while back I had this potienttial truth come to me that was very profound. I suddenly wondered if the negative entities I have been experiencing my whole life were not outside but inside isolated parts of my own self. This would make alot of sence. I beg and pray to Jesus that He will defend me from these things but am ignored and they continue to torrment me. More and more I am starting to believe that these "demons" are really fractured parts of my own self.

Yes I have been scared of death and scared of having an OBE because I wondered that if I did, I'd see my demons. Sometimes I wish I could just dive right in and confront them all at once. These things have bothered me my whole life and have basically ruined me. I have few friends and can hardly ever keep a job anymore. I have been through terrible things most of which have been at the hand of people I have loved and trusted.

I started reading between life and dead and am really liking it. Thanks so much for your time. Maybe you have a theory on demons? What do you think of my theory that they are isolated parts of one's own self? Also, if they are parts of my self, do you have any info on how to return them back to me?

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Astral projection and OBE's / Re: Demons
« on: October 07, 2012, 07:59:19 AM »
Oh wow thanks friend. I will add this to my collection of esoteric knowledge. I can look into myself but I haven't quite yet learned how to visit the astral realm. Do you have any good resources on how to visit the astral realm?

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Astral projection and OBE's / Re: Demons
« on: October 07, 2012, 05:23:25 AM »
   That makes sense. Throughout my whole life I have been betrayed by all those closest to me. Things like self-worth and personal pride are not always easy for me to feel. I am at a low point right now but have been doing a pretty good job of recovering. This year has been very hard. I nearly lost the fight to corruption many times. I can't even begin to tell you all the non-sense I have had to deal with and I would want to anyway. Going through life not ever being able to trust anyone and not having friends really sucks. Suicidal and homicidal feelings are not easy to fight against. There have been times this year that those feelings where so intense that my whole body would shake and my teeth would grind because I was trying to contain myself and not fall to corruption. Believe me or not, I don't care. I do thank you for sharing with me.

   It's only been within the past few weeks that I have been able to separate from my horrible memories. However, there are still times when I feel the negative feelings trying to take hold of me. I have methods of warding them off and have been very successful. Isolation is very lonely at times but it has helped me to ground myself and to re-center who I chose to be. I have been inviting love, peace, mercy, and truth back into myself lately and it is helping more than I could put in words. I keep getting these profound surges of emotion that make me want to laugh and cry at the same time. The surges are also followed by the most profound feelings of being accepted and the hope that I will return home someday. More and more I can feel myself coming back as I draw closer to, what I call my "super-self". The Super-self is basically the same concept as the higher self. It's so crazy to me that I keep coming up with the same thoughts and ideas that many others have already come up with. I guess this is evidence that I am on the path of love and truth.

   Thankyou friend and may peace, love, truth, and mercy be on you and your house.

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Astral projection and OBE's / Demons
« on: October 06, 2012, 07:23:44 AM »
   I grew up in the southern baptist church basically my whole life until I converted to reformed baptist. However, after having had countless experiences dealing with rude, selfish, hypocritical, and arrogant Christians I gave up on modern day christianity but still retained basically the same faith structure, I simply stopped calling myself a christian. Furthermore, through out my whole life I have been aflicted by multiple demons. No amount of begging God or Jesus Christ for hours throughout the night for years ever saved me from their terror I would experience due to their torment. I have also, three times, seen black figures with my own eyes in the open air that were blacker than black and had a clear form right before my own physical eyes. Furthermore, I have seen demons in my dreams and they always look the same. Stuff like this has been happening to me for over fifteen years I'm not going to go into all that because right now I have a specific ordeal that I need help with.

   I have seen what I call the "Lower Realm". I will try not to give to graphic of an explaination as the Lower Realm is a horrible place. Imagine a planet size mass of large leeches that are full of and feed off of lust and anger. In an attempt to try and descover and uproot my own lower realm energy, I dove deep into myself into the lower realms and saw a huge black mass surrounded by darkness. I magined I was going down an elavator into my deepest and darkest place. I ended up desending into the mass and was horrified beyond words. The mass was a planet size gathering of leeches with sharp teeth that latched on to me. I could feel their fury and anger. The leeches were also full of lust. In the past I would sometimes become cunsumed by surges of lust and also fury that I could not control. I say that I could not control it because the surge would be so compelling that it would overtake my will and I would then proceed to say it lightly, feed my demons. If the surge was of fury, I would spend long periods of time completely focused and consumed on the hatred and anger I felt towards those who have hurt me throughout my life. If it was lust... I have not decended to that place again since this experience and don't ever want to again. For the most part I have delt with this and it is not a problem anymore. However, I am still afflicted by something and I don't know how to rid myself of it.

   I have a saying that has been a great tool that I use to moderate and know myself, "God created the day and the night, the darkness and the light". I recognize that I have a darkside and a lightside and accept both of them. However, I can tell the difference between my own darkness and the corruption of what I call non-self enities. I have a few theories about demons and how they interact with us.

Theory 1- Demons are non-self enities that afflict us through gates that open inside of our psychology. These gates are doors to other realms. The opening of these gates can be caused by self forces and non-self forces. These gates remain open by the power of negative experiences in our lives that cause us to be filled with, what I call, "extreme emotion". When a person goes through great anger or depression these gates can open allow non-self enities to take control of our psychology. Thus the demons is a non-self entity.

Theory 2- Imagine a wormhole. This wormhole represents tha path of our psychology throughout life. It is the path of life. All that exists within the wormhole is good and normal. However, sometimes extreme events happen that cause us to deviate from our lifepath and create what I call "Split-offs". Split-offs are potientially infinite and the further the Split-off grows, the more extreme the emotion becomes that is complelling your will down the Split-off. Multiple Split-offs can manifest on our wormhole or lifepath and can cause our psychology to become fractured. Thus a person is said to have multiple personalities. When the Split-off has gone so far that the person's will is no longer strong enough to stop it's growth, the Split-off can consume the lifepath and a demons manifests. Thus the demon is both self and non-self.

Theory 3- Within the human being is a council table much like a round table yet has a leader chair I call "The Seat of Will". The council chairs make up all that inclines us and the Seat of Will is that which compells us and so we have no free will beyond that which we are inclined and/or compelled to do. Each chair is equal. However, chairs can form groups and so can create greater inclination. Throughout life, new chairs are added on and thus our being grows and thus the potiential inclinations increase in number also increasing the number of potiential responces. Sometimes a person can lose the position of their own Seat of Will and thus lose their self-control. I deviate now, allow me to return to the main point. Demons are those chairs that are our "darksides". Thus, we are our demons and they are not separate from us.

-------Here is my problem-------

   I am having a very hard time progressing through my spiritual path. I follow a path very similair to Shamanism, though, I don't use "drugs" or herbs. My shamanism is mostly based on techniques to help me learn more about myself, learn what I am and am not capable of, and also to help me connect with nature as I believe God reveals Himself through nature. I also do things that are very similair to what Chinese monks do as I am a practitioner of martial arts. I stretch all my muscles and move all my joints while bearfoot under the moon. My sun sign is Cancer and my moon sign is Scorpio and thus I can easily connect with the moon. I can consistently predict when there will be a full moon to the day, several days before the moon will be full. I am an Empath. I also feel a great connection with animals and can communicate with them through behavior. I can feel trees and plants and can sometimes even feel how the trees and plants feel about me. When I was depressed beyond words I was hurting myself in a very bad way and when I would hurt myself I could literally feel the trees discontent for what I was doing to myself. I have seen "angels" only once and they saved me from a massive horde of demons numbering in the thousands. I can also see four-d shapes in my mind and I know things about the soul, existence, and other people that I have no way of explaining how I know these things except that I believe that the Holy Spirit speaks truth into me and has given me the ability to feel things. I believe feeling transends knowing.

   Now to the point...

   I can't calm myslef very well. I can feel my mind sending signals to my heart that don't allow it to slow down. Shifting into a trance state is VERY hard as I am nearly completely unable to clam down. However, I have been able to shift into a trance state and see things inside myself. I can see the "demons" inside of me and can also feel their influence. I have seen inside myself and have percieved a large growth that has a beating heart. It is ugly and gross bryond words and has a will of it's own. It lashes out against me when I try to percieve it. I can feel it inhibit me. I can see it's face form through it's grotesque form and bark out at me with large jaws full of sharp teeth. It looks like a skinless blob of guts that is warped and bloody and pulses like it has a heart inside of it. It is attached to me somewhere inside of myself. I don't know how to remove it. It is messing everything up and won't let me progrss in my spiritual practices. I have isolated all my most horrible memories and have cast out the pain associated with them. Although I still feel demons trying to use my old memories against me, I cast them away and can gain control very quickly. I feel like I am corrupted and that "God" and His angels are far from me. However, There are still times where I do feel great movements inside of me. Just the other day I burst into tears of both sorrow and joy as I could feel that I will return home someday and that my Heavenly Father and His angels are watching over me. I am very worried about this and really need some help rooting out that blod of corruption inside of me.

   I have a specific way that I deal with demons that assault me. When I was younger and even still nowadays, I sometimes see the most obsurd and horrible things inside my mind that I would never say because of how horrible it is. I can often see myself being assaulted in my mind but have learned, over the years, how to fight it off. Sometimes I am being beating by demons and they will do horrible and absurd things to me in my mind but I have learned how to control this for the most part. In the past I would try and visualize myself fighting back but every time I would strike, their bodies would reform and they would counter my defence and defile my mind further while laughing. This rarely happens now as I have learned how to create more powerful visualizations. Now I am the one ripping them apart in my mind. They have also attacked me in my dreams and I have had horrible dreams all my life that are beyond words. If I were to try and describe what I have seen, even as a child, this would not be posted as it is that horrible. I have countless times woken up unable to move or speak and have been overwhellmed by the most horrible terror and grotesque images. I have since and only resently learned how to burst out of this and bring my own consciousness back so that I regain physical control of my body. When this happens, I always wake up completely out of breath and covered in sweat while being very cold and hot at the same time. The extent to this happening is not nearly as bad as it used to be as I have been learning, over the years, how to combat and avoid these things. My empathy allows me to gage the power of the enities bothering me and so I know which ones to fight off and which ones to run from. Just last night I had a dream and I could feel that just beyond the treeline, in the woods, was a demon lurking, It spoke to me but was inly taughting me. It did not appraoch but I could feel how terrible it was and so I woke myself up from sleep.

    If someone could please help me figure out how to root out the thing inside of me I would be so thankful. Know this about me, I know I am special and very rare. I know that though my body is only twentysix years old, parts of me are several hundred years old. I have learned at a rate that no human can learn and have done it without the aid of any humans. In just a few years I have learned what would normally take another person multiple life-times and multiple instructors. I have taught myself things that require outside instruction and am continuing to grow. However, sometimes my progress is hualted by events in my life and also failures of my own. Futhermore, though I can often understand the most incredibly complex things, sometimes it is the most simple and most fundamental things that elude me.

   If you tell me nonsence like I need to go see a doctor I will know you are either a fake or you have not progressed as far as myself. Furthermore, I don't want to hear about Jesus Christ or the Bible as I probably know more about both them than you and your whole family combined. I have read the whole Bible four times all the way through and have read over my favorite books several times. Furthermore, I studied philosofy and theology for fun when I was younger and even wrote sermons and articles before the age of eighteen. Even further still, I have been to college for theology and philosophy but did not finish due to the ugliness and hypocracy of modern christianity. Even now I could freestyle a sermon on any number of biblical consepts. Please don't consider me an arrogant person, it's just that I have spent my whole life living like Jesus Christ and have spent countless hours studying His Word and don't feel like being lectured by an ignorant christian that doesn't even know Jesus Christ's true and Jewish name and who has not even seen a demon let alone the inside of their own subconscious mind or their soul.

   May the love, mercy, truth, and grace of our Heavenly Father be on your house and on your whole family and on you for ever and ever and may you have peace in both sleep and death. Thankyou friend and feel free to email me. Lastly, if there is anything I can help you with feel free to ask as I am a servant of my Heavenly Father and a manifestation of His love, mercy, truth, and grace.

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