Author Topic: Should I trust my intuition?  (Read 1595 times)

Aashinya

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Should I trust my intuition?
« on: October 02, 2012, 04:34:05 PM »
Hi everyone, I am new to this forum.
I am a very intuitive person, and normally follow my instincts without doubting myself. But this situation has left me second-guessing myself. I would really appreciate some of your opinions, I came to this forum for help because I believe more spiritual experienced people out there will give me some valuable advice on this. Anyway, here is the story:

I have been married for 5 years, we have been together for 12.5. There is no passion, I think there has never been any, or only short flashes... Sometimes I love him, other times I am truly convinced I am better off without him. But he makes me feel good, I used to be a very negative person before I met him. Low self confidence, low self image, ... Now I am independent and in love with my life. I am my own best friend and grew a lot spiritually. I feel like I own most of that to him. But, because of this higher self confidence, I feel the need to "leave the nest and fly". I have this strong desire and urge to be alone. I have ideas in my head about how life would be on my own. It even makes me excited, thinking about my new life and how happy it would make me.
This is very selfish thinking, I know it will break my husband's heart if I'd leave him. I would still want us to be friends, but I don't think he could. I tried talking to him about this, but he doesn't understand. He thinks he did something wrong, I assured him that he didn't.
I have been waiting for my feelings to change so I don't have to break his heart, but if anything, they only grow stronger. So should I trust my intuition or am I making the biggest mistake of my life?

soffty

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Re: Should I trust my intuition?
« Reply #1 on: October 02, 2012, 11:13:49 PM »
I do not claim to understand women at all. Your situation depends alot on your ages and the reasons why you married, and if you had plans for the future. I think most women marry to make their life better...they plan to find a man to give them material possessions. In that scenario, it is very common for divorce to occur.

Some men want a family. Some want a beautiful girl for a wife. Personally, I think it is uncommon for a marriage to be perfect...probably rare. Two people change over the years and it is hard to both have a wonderful life.

I recommend that you take a chance, and a risk. I think you should have a long talk and discuss all the facts of life. Get him to understand your perspective. But, your next move depends on the many specifics of your life that you do not offer here. So you won't get much help here.   

If it helps at all, I suggest that you make a list of all the things you care about. Try to avoid what you want, like material things, and think about your future. Those are the things that make a great discussion. He will try to help you and that may help you understand what your problem is. If you work at it you may find your answers.

I don't like the idea of intuition.

Wade

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Re: Should I trust my intuition?
« Reply #2 on: October 03, 2012, 07:54:10 AM »
Hi

I wonder in what way does your husband prevent you from being yourself. What is stopping you from being with your and husband and being more free. Why do you need the seperation inorder to be freer?

Mogenblue

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Re: Should I trust my intuition?
« Reply #3 on: October 03, 2012, 08:28:28 AM »
I have been married for 5 years, we have been together for 12.5. There is no passion, I think there has never been any, or only short flashes... Sometimes I love him, other times I am truly convinced I am better off without him. But he makes me feel good, I used to be a very negative person before I met him. Low self confidence, low self image, ... Now I am independent and in love with my life. I am my own best friend and grew a lot spiritually. I feel like I own most of that to him. But, because of this higher self confidence, I feel the need to "leave the nest and fly". I have this strong desire and urge to be alone. I have ideas in my head about how life would be on my own. It even makes me excited, thinking about my new life and how happy it would make me.
This is very selfish thinking, I know it will break my husband's heart if I'd leave him. I would still want us to be friends, but I don't think he could. I tried talking to him about this, but he doesn't understand. He thinks he did something wrong, I assured him that he didn't.
I have been waiting for my feelings to change so I don't have to break his heart, but if anything, they only grow stronger. So should I trust my intuition or am I making the biggest mistake of my life?

If you leave him you will go through a period of feeling separated, like a part of you died or something. It will be a serious test for you if you are able to stand on your own feet or flee into another relation to escape the feelings of seperation or not to be alone.

You may feel you own most of your current situation to him but I guess you have made him happy too. You must be aware that you have given him much of yourself too. Don't underestimate that.

It's a challenge to go for it. I have heard someone once say she never felt more lonely then when she was married and she was glad she took the step to get out of it. But if you divorce there is a good chance it cannot be repaired again.

If your feeling is strong to go I think you should follow it. Don't expect life to get better when you are gone right away. It takes time to find a new balance on your own.
But I think it's worth it. It is not about the material wealth that you can gain, it's the inner awareness of yourself that you are who you are and that you belong to no one except yourself. And that you take responsibility for your life yourself.
Money can't buy that.

Good luck.
A View into the Hereafter
Only by serving and loving the life of God, the human being conquers his Universe


 

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