Author Topic: When Is It Okay To Lie?  (Read 5056 times)

Nakhash

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Re: When Is It Okay To Lie?
« Reply #15 on: July 31, 2012, 04:47:02 AM »
I'm in agreement with zararina. Intention is what is important in actions we do and words we say. Some people say terribly hurtful things to others and then justify it by saying they were only telling the "truth" and that it was helpful for the other person because now s/he knows they need to make changes. As I said: Justification. I think people who do this don't have good intentions at all. They know they're being hurtful.

The same goes with lying. What is the intention in telling the lie and is it beneficial to the person being lied to or to the one doing the lying? One is meant to not hurt someone with the truth, the other is a self-serving need to not have to deal with any fall-out that would result from being truthful.
Nakhash Mekashefah

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Hardison

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Re: When Is It Okay To Lie?
« Reply #16 on: July 31, 2012, 08:04:46 PM »
How about this one? "You can't get pregnant the first time."

LOl!! I have heard that one some many times! Is that lie coded into the genes of teenage boys?!

DiminishingInsanity

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Re: When Is It Okay To Lie?
« Reply #17 on: August 07, 2012, 05:08:30 AM »
I wonder.
Namaste

taskeinc

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Re: When Is It Okay To Lie?
« Reply #18 on: August 11, 2012, 05:47:13 PM »
The contradictory religious rules that many people believe (but often don't follow, not even close) are so rigid and unnecessary that they are almost laughable. Starting with, "Thou shall not lie" when people lie ALL THE TIME .. and in a court of law, placing your hand on the bible, "Do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth so help you God." What a JOKE. Of course, if you're caught fabricating in court you can be charged with perjury.

Husbands lie to their wives all the time, "honey, does this dress make me look fat?" There's only one answer to that.
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chea

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Re: When Is It Okay To Lie?
« Reply #19 on: September 10, 2012, 10:15:37 AM »
I would rather say nothing than lie, because I always feel so guilty when I do. But I think if telling the truth will cause more pain to the person than the lie, then in that situation it would be okay.

IsabelleChan

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Re: When Is It Okay To Lie?
« Reply #20 on: September 11, 2012, 03:16:19 PM »
It's almost impossible to not to lie in your life. There are often times when you subconsciously lie for instant pleasure or trivial purposes. But there's always a golden rule. Never cause harm to anyone. This is of ultimate concern when you consider the option of lying. If you deliberately hurt people, then those lies ain't white anymore.

Pointing2

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Re: When Is It Okay To Lie?
« Reply #21 on: October 27, 2012, 11:12:39 PM »
If we accept spirit as truth then to lie is the equivalent of rejecting spirit. In most cases we can say that it's best to tell the truth, but when, if ever, is it okay to lie? Are social "white" lies okay? How about lying on taxes, or lying to not hurt somebody's feelings?

I once cared for a demented woman who's son had died tragically some years back. Everyday she would ask the staff where her son was. We learned quickly that when we told her the truth she relived all the horror and sorrow like it had just happened. It wasn't long before we were all lying to her like it was the best thing to do.

I tend to think that in an imperfect world no one rule can ever be appropriate all the time. So, which is it? Should we never lie? Are there times when we should? What are the exceptions?


Hi,
I am going on your original premise that spirit is truth. So, according to your definition of truth, anything that goes against spirit is a lie, not the other way around. A lie does not go against spirit, but to go against spirit is a lie. That is your answer. And only you know, in your heart, what goes against the spirit. No one else can tell you that, because you sense it yourself.
Chris K.

cactuschris

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Re: When Is It Okay To Lie?
« Reply #22 on: October 29, 2012, 01:21:21 PM »
What Happens when we lie?
What happens when we lie to other people?
What happens when we lie to ourselves?

Many times we give out false impressions or words, it seems to be part of not only human nature but has been observed in nature as well. This to some extent makes it a survival strategy, part of who we have become and part of our social structure. We accept it, we see lies as small instances that will not hurt anyone, we do it to ‘help’ others, deciding what they should and should not believe, we even do it to ourselves.
We usually do not consider the consequences other than to justify the action as ‘for the best’, but this only adds us to the list of those being lied to.

When we lie we seek to alter who we are, we suppress the honest person inside, we over-ride the shout from the heart that wants to be honest and over-rule the knowledge that lying is dis-honest and that we would not aspire to being deceitful, especially to ourselves, we wish for the end, the death of the honest person inside us.

Most often we lie to hold on to impressions that others have of us, or we of ourselves, we seek to retain a social standing and not be seen for the person we really are, we wish to hide our real self and live with a mask that we believe makes us appear better than we actually are. Actually it seems to work, but this is because we all do it, in small or big ways, in minor social interactions and in many aspects of our daily lives.
Sometimes we lie to others thinking that we are being kind, we tell others a lie to make them feel better, or at least to avoid them being offended, but what we actually do is to tell them that they are not up to the mark, for however we couch the words they will not ring true, and the listener will know that. The problem also lies with the fact that if we are prepared to lie to them in a small way, then we are not to be trusted, and this too cleaves relationships apart and the trust they are dependent on is shattered. In all of this of course we avoid telling the truth, we fear to tell the truth and so we give in to our fears and lie.

Herein lies the real problem: fear. Much of the reason why we lie is about fear, the fear of loss, the fear that others will not like us for who we are, the fear of facing who we really are.
This stops us from being who we are, stops others from liking us for who we really are, and stops us from loving ourselves, and this halts any personal development we might make. We lock ourselves into a web of lies until we are so trussed up in them that we become immobile. Understand then the real meaning of “The truth shall set you free”.

We lie to avoid the consequences of the truth because of fear, yet this is very short sighted, for the truth, living by the truth and striving only to think, see and speak the truth actually brings happiness. We begin to understand the freedom that the truth brings, we begin to accept people (and ourselves) unconditionally for who we are, we understand and accept the real costs and benefits of the things we do, and this clarity allows us to make decisions about how we live.

This is important – really important, by living with the truth we can allow our inner voice to guide us and this brings peace and happiness, calm and  balance. For instance, we know that the choices we make have a price and a reward, we know if we are really honest that if we hurt someone our hearts ache with sorrow, if we take without giving we owe with no intention of redress, if we support cruel practises then we are responsible for that cruelty.
It is no good denying these things, saying it doesn’t matter, or denying what we owe with apparent bravado or declining to acknowledge the cruelty we cause, for if we do we lie to ourselves, we deny the person who we are and although inside we despise ourselves this cycle reduces our self-respect to the point where all that is left is fear and lies – we become spiritually bankrupt – we live in fear of our inner, honest voice, we bring on our own spiritual death.

People have died for telling the truth, in a world of deception the truthsayer is not popular, their reflection into society displays the fear and imbalance that society carries round like an albatross, it is a difficult road, a lonely road sometimes, but it brings joy and bliss, inner peace and balance, growth and vision, a chance to be who we are and love who we are.

love
chris

DiminishingInsanity

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Re: When Is It Okay To Lie?
« Reply #23 on: October 03, 2013, 03:59:24 AM »
What Happens when we lie?
What happens when we lie to other people?
What happens when we lie to ourselves?

Many times we give out false impressions or words, it seems to be part of not only human nature but has been observed in nature as well. This to some extent makes it a survival strategy, part of who we have become and part of our social structure. We accept it, we see lies as small instances that will not hurt anyone, we do it to ‘help’ others, deciding what they should and should not believe, we even do it to ourselves.
We usually do not consider the consequences other than to justify the action as ‘for the best’, but this only adds us to the list of those being lied to.

When we lie we seek to alter who we are, we suppress the honest person inside, we over-ride the shout from the heart that wants to be honest and over-rule the knowledge that lying is dis-honest and that we would not aspire to being deceitful, especially to ourselves, we wish for the end, the death of the honest person inside us.

Most often we lie to hold on to impressions that others have of us, or we of ourselves, we seek to retain a social standing and not be seen for the person we really are, we wish to hide our real self and live with a mask that we believe makes us appear better than we actually are. Actually it seems to work, but this is because we all do it, in small or big ways, in minor social interactions and in many aspects of our daily lives.
Sometimes we lie to others thinking that we are being kind, we tell others a lie to make them feel better, or at least to avoid them being offended, but what we actually do is to tell them that they are not up to the mark, for however we couch the words they will not ring true, and the listener will know that. The problem also lies with the fact that if we are prepared to lie to them in a small way, then we are not to be trusted, and this too cleaves relationships apart and the trust they are dependent on is shattered. In all of this of course we avoid telling the truth, we fear to tell the truth and so we give in to our fears and lie.

Herein lies the real problem: fear. Much of the reason why we lie is about fear, the fear of loss, the fear that others will not like us for who we are, the fear of facing who we really are.
This stops us from being who we are, stops others from liking us for who we really are, and stops us from loving ourselves, and this halts any personal development we might make. We lock ourselves into a web of lies until we are so trussed up in them that we become immobile. Understand then the real meaning of “The truth shall set you free”.

We lie to avoid the consequences of the truth because of fear, yet this is very short sighted, for the truth, living by the truth and striving only to think, see and speak the truth actually brings happiness. We begin to understand the freedom that the truth brings, we begin to accept people (and ourselves) unconditionally for who we are, we understand and accept the real costs and benefits of the things we do, and this clarity allows us to make decisions about how we live.

This is important – really important, by living with the truth we can allow our inner voice to guide us and this brings peace and happiness, calm and  balance. For instance, we know that the choices we make have a price and a reward, we know if we are really honest that if we hurt someone our hearts ache with sorrow, if we take without giving we owe with no intention of redress, if we support cruel practises then we are responsible for that cruelty.
It is no good denying these things, saying it doesn’t matter, or denying what we owe with apparent bravado or declining to acknowledge the cruelty we cause, for if we do we lie to ourselves, we deny the person who we are and although inside we despise ourselves this cycle reduces our self-respect to the point where all that is left is fear and lies – we become spiritually bankrupt – we live in fear of our inner, honest voice, we bring on our own spiritual death.

People have died for telling the truth, in a world of deception the truthsayer is not popular, their reflection into society displays the fear and imbalance that society carries round like an albatross, it is a difficult road, a lonely road sometimes, but it brings joy and bliss, inner peace and balance, growth and vision, a chance to be who we are and love who we are.

love
chris

Hi Chris,

I've posted this thread in multiple forums and this is probably the best reply I've had. Thank you, and I apologize that it's taken a year for me to respond.
Namaste


 

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